It's not that I don't like Christmas.
I don't even have it bad. My families all get along, for the most part, and the ones that don't don't celebrate together, sparing everyone the hassle. No one hounds me about children. It comes up, but I can easily deflect, and they accept it because I'm 27. Or we've only been married a year. Or I don't seem the mothering type (dingdingding.)
I'd have to say I'm Christmas Apathetic.
Christmas with my parents is a low-key dinner, Christmas with my mother-in-law a massive social production with set changes. I don't care much for either, but don't find them impossible. Presents are fine, but then again not exchanging gifts is also fine. Maybe a little more than fine. More than anything, Christmas makes me feel every year like a terrible actor in some bizarre play, woodenly going through the motions and hitting marks. Drink coffee, open gift, thank giver, eat cheese. Every year it gets a little worse. I know it's just me- Ay loves Christmas and gifts and feasting and pajamas and all of that. I wish I could borrow his enthusiasm. Or maybe just convert him, so we could stay home on Christmas and play video games that we purchased for ourselves and not even THINK the word "brunch."
(See what this holiday does to me? I love brunch! It's my favorite meal of the day!)
So I guess this is my xmas recap: It didn't go badly, it didn't go well. It just went.
I love cheese. And I'm with you on Christmas, especially this one. I felt like I was just going through the motions and I couldn't wait to be home.
ReplyDeleteI would guess I'm Christmas conflicted. We have stayed at home the last several years and I feel like we should be doing more. When we go and visit with the relatives, I feel like you - woodenly going through the motions. Sigh - too many expectations attached to the holiday, I suppose.
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